To be (a friend) or not to be (a friend).

Friend. Friendship. Girlfriend. Boyfriend.

I have been pondering these words for quite some time now; or at least for a substantial amount of time this year. However, as of recent the topic seems to be in my face like a French man trying to get laid on the first day of spring. The best way to deal with a situation such as the aforementioned is: to speak French. Right. And if you can't speak French (ah hem) you must outwit him with an intellectual jab or at least know the French word for lesbian. Hence, to put the pondering at ease I went on a mission... to find a dictionary.

Here's the funny thing about dictionaries, they're never around when you need them. Say for example, when we were trying to start a camp fire in the Kalahari, didn't see any dictionaries then. Or say when I'm trying to look up the word 'friend'. I prowled for a good five minutes (my mum would say that's not long enough) muttering, 'there must be an Oxford English Dictionary somewhere here' and it shifted, 'ok Webster's Dictionary' and yet again, 'ok POCKET Dictionary' and finally, 'arghl;ksmaflke Google.' I just decided that when I have my own house I will keep a dictionary on the coffee table, even if it's a pocket dictionary.

Dictionaries are actually pretty cool. [I mean, besides the fact that today in Cultures of Mod we spent two hours arguing what the definition of 'society' is.] Really, this isn't the point.

friend·ship
n. Germanic origin, related to Old English freond.
A term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more social entities. This article focuses on the specific to interpersonal relationships. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. (so on, so forth) [thanks wiki]

Well, it's pre-packaged but it does the job.

Now to be fair, I don't claim to be a good friend. In fact, or en fais, I think that many times I'm a terrible friend. So perhaps it's contradictory for me to point fingers, I'm not quite sure how that stands. Anyways, my reasoning for pondering the definition of this word had boiled down to who was 'worth it' (for lack of finding a better term, it's late and I have stacks of PS498) for me to invest in. [I sense that my father would insert a witty financial analogy here.] But, it makes sense. Life is short and if I'm going to spend time with non-equines they better be pretty good friends.

I decided not to adopt the '3 strikes you're out' rule because three seems somewhat arbitrary to me. I'm no math whiz but I know that bad things happen in threes (or at least that's what DM tells me, and she tells me often enough that I've actually started to believe it).

Perhaps I haven't reached a full conclusion yet. But one thing I have decided: I greatly dislike when people tell me that we're 'friends' when clearly we're not. We need to get our definitions out of the mud. If we don't talk we're clearly not friends. Perhaps I should offer the definition for 'acquaintance' instead? (i.e. facebook, I walk by you on the diag, you sit 4 rows behind me in class, I snogged you like once 2 years ago).

Clearly you should pull out a dictionary and redefine your terms.