Can I break it to you?

You're not in college anymore.



Reasons I know that I'm beyond my years in life:

When I babysit, the parents are out way later than I would ever be.
Like try 4am. I didn't think bars were open until that late. What do they do all that time? How do they exist normally on a 9-5 schedule? What do the kids do in the morning?

I'm tired before the kids go to bed.
Try 10pm. Yawns start hitting and the great desire to curl up on the couch with the lights out smacks me like an abusive mother. I have to remind myself that I'm not allowed to be so pathetic, there's not much worse than being made fun of by kids, especially since they'll never forget, "Hey, remember that one time you fell asleep..."

I try to encourage them to eat healthy food.
No wonder Americans are fat. I try to get them to have tea instead of Butter Lovers popcorn (with extra butter) but they just ignore me. At least I try.

Rather than letting myself fall asleep, I stay up and do work.
This wouldn't normally happen except for in this situation (especially since I'm sick). Reading Cicero. Only because I'm approximately 250 pages behind in reading for that class.

I drive the speed limit home.
Even though it's late and probably okay to speed.