How to Write an Essay 101.

1.) Do the readings.
2.) Attend class.
3.) Take thorough notes.

4.) Form a thesis statement.
5.) Select quotations.


6.) Copy class notes (in your own words) as an introduction to your idea(s).
7.) Explicate the shit out of quotation(s).
8.) Use definitions of words (directly from the dictionary) to prove your point.

9.) When feasible, use sections of old papers you have already written. (you can't plagiarize yourself)
10.) Say the same thing over again (in different words, of course) at least three times.
11.) Conclude by repeating thesis statement.
12.) Submit no more than 15 minutes before required hand-in time.

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Ok, so let's get this straight. I have become the epitome of a super-senior. Not only was my goal for next semester to find the easiest professors as well as classes with the least amount of work, my goal is still persistently sitting on the edge of... failure? (I'm becoming a typical AP student, where as-in the definition of failure is a B, or maybe even a B+)

Here I am, Sunday evening starting a Word document of my final essay for the semester. The measily 3-4 page assignment isn't even difficult, for heaven's sakes I get to write about horses and poetry... like, hello not difficult at all. But alas, somewhere along the events of the last 3 weeks of hell I lost every shred of motivation, I don't even have enough to propel me through the 1.5 single spaced essay.

Everything BUT said essay is appealing, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, painting my toe nails, packing, dusting, scrubbing the bathroom sink, even cooking would be more appealing.

Chaos ensues. This sucker has to be handed in at 8am tomorrow.