Some days I think the world conspires against me.

This would be one of those days.

There's nothing more frustrating than having the feeling of accomplishment and then, oops just kidding, realizing that it was simply just false security. Let me explain.

My entire educational career I have struggled with French. It has always been that love-hate relationship... which is fine, I understand and accept it in that way. I vaguely remember some odd 5 years ago rejoicing in the fact that I would never have to take French again upon high school graduation. I imagine I found some enjoyment in throwing away worksheets, assignments, and the likes. Then, imagine my disappointment when AP suddenly told me that I had to take 3 semesters of French if I wanted to graduate. Shit fuck. School gives you a lot of "just kiddings".

"Your essay is due on Wednesday." (2 days later, just kidding) "Your essay is due on Monday."
"You have fulfilled your distribution." (3 hours later, just kidding) "You're missing a natty sci credit."
"You don't have to take any math classes ever again." (several days later, just kidding) "You need to take Stats 350."
"Your books aren't that expensive." (4 days later, just kidding) "You think $103 isn't expensive...for one book?"

It goes something like that.

So imagine my feeling of accomplishment when three weeks into the semester I sat down and spent an entire evening doing mes devoirs de Français. It was spectacular. I was even thinking in French. So imagine my feeling of disappointment when in class she asked us to open to page 29 of our polycopiés. (Page 29?! I didn't see a page 29 assignment on the homework sheet...) Imagine my feeling of ohshitfuckshit when I found the page (a page full of questions in response to a reading) completely empty. Imagine my feeling of Ican'tbelievethis as she (mind you, she already intimidates me) marched around the room looking to see if everyone had completed the assignment. Tears swelled in my eyes. She's going to nail me for this. She nailed me for it. And so I proceeded to want to cry because it was truly an honest mistake, and the one time it happens I'm screwed over for it.

So the world is conspiring against me and it's cold and I don't want to be here and I don't know where I'll be in four months and I'm trying not to worry and be scared even though it's in my nature to (sometimes) be so.