Another boat, another adventure.

Saying "farewell" doesn't seem to get any easier with experience. I told AVH that this afternoon as we sat in my car. He had his arms around me, pulling me to his chest as tears slipped down my cheeks.

We were quiet for most of the car ride there. It's hard to know what to say when you don't know when you'll see each other again. The entire morning I fought tears. I don't want to be sad about it, it's really hard to not choose to be sad. How can I help but feel otherwise when this boy who has become so dear to me is leaving once again?

I stood on the curb sniffling, wondering what he was thinking, realizing we both have big adventures ahead of us. In that respect, it's exciting. But for me, it's scary too. It was so easy to be in 'the now' with him here-- to just feel wonderful about being near him.

So now he's on a plane again. And now I can miss him and wonder when we'll see each other again, and maybe hope that someday we won't have to be in that situation.

I have some big life changes ahead of me and it's scary and sometimes I wish you could be here (because it would be easier) but I also know that it's probably better I do these on my own. I know you get it, just like I know why you need to be on the (a) boat.



It's hard to be back in reality when you're feeling so numb, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

4 weeks 'till graduation. oh my.