I dislike creamy substances.

Like lotion.

I was led to begin this train of thought while I brushed my teeth and examined my swollen finger. I'm beginning to wonder if my stomach parasites are going to make a grand finale exit through the index finger on my right hand. That thought is mildly disturbing but would make a great story, somewhere along the lines of the time I sold my flip flops on campus to a 40-something year old guy.

Anyhow, thinking about my gimpy finger led me to thinking about hands which led me to thinking about lotion... and how much I hate it.

I'm not quite sure when my loathing for lotions began. I feel that it came somewhere between the point where I discovered makeup to be a useless commodity in my life and handsoap to be a blessing. I do believe that at one point the dermatologist attempted to define my ailment with some technical name and give me mental peace with a prescription for some high tech lotion (which, by the way, I did fill but then I ended up never using and then throwing away.) I vaguely remember telling them at the follow-up appointment that their prescription was useless to me and that I was going to take the 'no action' route.

I do have to be honest that my hands are worse in the winter and that sometimes I do break down and utilize some type of moisturizing product. However, I find that when people such as Food Snob (who doesn't have normal skin on his hands anyways) begin pressurizing me on the subject I become less inclined to remedy the issue.

Actually what it all boils down to is the fact that I greatly dislike any creamy lotioning substance that remotely has any smell to it. Bleh, whether it's old lady scented or fruity or shimmery or pale pink I hate it, hate it, hate it! I also find that I dislike the wet feeling that can linger for up to 10 minutes after applying, it cramps my style and makes opening jars difficult.
...and turning doorknobs becomes nearly impossible!

Thus I have concluded that although I dislike creamy lotioning substances I still find delight in other creamy substances (oh god, it sounds terrible!) such as: whipped cream (heh.), tirimisu, Gary's chicken and creamy mushroom sauce, mum's corn potato chowder, and hair conditioner.