Will you come and rescue me?

This past week I almost called it quits. I'm exhausted, overworked, and trying to justify being here when I'm not riding. Not riding and not making money. Money to pay for things I can't afford. $235 for 2 front shoes every 6 weeks? It's not feasible for me to support myself and Rowan. I simply can't do it. Rusted fuel lines on my car. I simply can't afford all of the maintenance. And in the midst of it all I hardly have a chance to take care of myself. Working 6:30am - 7:30pm most nights leaves me with little desire to do anything, to be social, to cook, to read, to write, to think. And I think that's terrible. I really do. I can't even be a real person, that's how I feel.

Mrs. Poo started giving me jobs to do during my 2:00 lesson time, because heaven forbid I sit and watch the others ride. It makes me so angry. If I'm not riding I should at least have that time for myself.

I'm really starting to think this whole thing is bullshit. Can I say it's unethical? Having a 15 minute lunch break during a 13 hour work day? (our only break) We work so hard here, we're very responsible considering everything we need to do, the animals we need to take care of. But really, it's burning me out and really, they are taking advantage of us-- who would want to stay? The benefit is not outweighing the cost.

But Rowan, he's doing well. I sat on him today and walked for 40 minutes. He feels different with his very-expensive-shoes, I just hope it's a good different. Tomorrow I will start calling hauling companies because we're going home. (!!!)


And I wouldn't say that AVH is necessarily rescuing me but, we're going to Europe!