I'm finally waking up.

Perhaps I won't be able to leave the Midwest. Or maybe I'll be able to leave, I'll just always come back.

Home. This is my real home. Slipping between the covers on my bed and burying myself into the pillows is so familiar and so wonderful and I become childishly giddy with excitement and then I can't sleep.

And this morning, the leaves divided between branches and ground. Oranges, yellows, greens, reds. Poetry. Falling. Being back in this place, autumn, winter, spring. So familiar. Something about those memories. How could I ever leave?

Yesterday before I left ALN says to me, "I wish I had your family." I'm very lucky. I know it. In fact, a couple weeks ago I sent my Mom a thank you card to thank her for being such an awesome Mom. And my Mom, so thoughtful, had my electric blanket on my bed and already turned on so that when I climbed in last night it was toasty warm.

The events from the past weeks are starting to fade away, into drawers and envelopes. To be surrounded with love and happiness again, hugs and smiles. My bare feet are cold on the wood floors and I'm finally starting to feel alive again.

...or maybe I'm just finally waking up?